CHAPTER 36

For a moment, Sen forgot all his problems. This was bliss, lying next to Van as the world moved on around them. He faced Van who was sleeping beside him. His face seemed peaceful. Sen lifted his hand, and caressed Van’s face. The years have been very kind to Van. The youthful appeal he had when he entered the academy was still there, his features were now more developed. The baby fats he used to have were now gone, revealing a well-sculpted body.

Van stirred, and saw Sen looking at him. He smiled. This was one moment where he could forget his plans. This was what he wanted after all- to have Sen by his side. He could put aside everything he felt, everything and just stay there.

Things must be done, he thought. He stood up, and lit a stick of cigarette. He wrapped the blanket around his waist, stood up and looked out the floor-to-ceiling window.

“Sen, remember what I told you and Cris during dinner a few weeks back?” Van asked. He looked at Van’s back. “I told you guys, I would quit if I found the one.”

He took a puff then turned around. Sen sat down on the bed, a pillow covering his lower half.

“I’m ready to quit.” Van said.

“Why?”

“I’ve found the one.” Van smiled. “It was you.” Sen looked puzzled.

“Me?”

“Yes. I want us to go far, far away.” Sen’s expression went from puzzled to surprised.

“But, what about Cris? I have a family now Van. It’s not that easy.” Sen explained.

“But do you love Cris?” Van asked.

“In the past years, I’ve learned to love her.” Sen replied

“More than me?” Sen paused. He knew he loved Van more, but he was unsure if this was the right thing to do.

“I love you more, of course. But I am not sure..”

“Do you trust me?” Van said.

“Of course.” Sen said.

“Then believe me, this is the best for us. It’s not our own way anymore. It’s our way.” Van said, smiling. “I’ll give you a token of trust.”

“A token of trust?”

“A token of trust.” Van said as he knelt down before Sen. He missed this-Van going down on him. It had been a long time, the last time before they parted ways. But this time it was different, Van was methodical, as if he was doing it just to get things over with. Sen did not feel the passion Van used to have.